I wrote recently how I've gone back to work in a part-time role at a local baby shop. My first shift was a 3-hour Friday night shift, so for Wee Man it wasn't much out of the normal routine. Occasionally either my husband or I will go out for an evening, leaving him alone with one or the other of us and we slightly deviate from the norm, so I think in his eyes it was much the same. There was about 5 seconds of tears as I got on my coat and he realised he wasn't coming, but he was easily distracted by Daddy and had a good night.
My second shift was an 8-hour Saturday afternoon/evening shift. While the day started off normally with Wee Man and me having breakfast together while Daddy got to sleep in (my turn is on Sunday mornings!), when I started getting dressed and putting on make-up (Wee Man's "Mama's leaving" radar perks up as soon as I break out the mascara) he started to get a little nervous and clingy, and by the time Daddy was up and I was packing my lunch he was in full-blown tears. I felt awful...
While I was tempted to call home and 'check in' part way through my shift later that day, I knew he was in fantastic hands and was having a great time with Daddy, and knew that my call would either stress him out again or make my husband wonder what I thought of his parenting skills. When I got home I was greeted by a relaxed husband sitting on the couch watching TV, a tidy house, and a gently snoring Wee Man on the baby monitor. It was nice.
I'm really enjoying the job - as much as I didn't know whether a retail position would give me what I was hoping to get out of a part-time job at this stage in my life, it's fun to get back into learning about and selling things like strollers, cribs, cloth diapers and other baby and children's items. My passion for and experience with this type of product is making the shifts go by quickly and helping me with feeling confident that my role of Mama hasn't changed my ability to be successful in working outside the home!
This past Saturday I had a 9:30am-5:30pm shift so the boys dropped me off and picked me up (we're a one vehicle household and they wanted the vehicle during the day) so it was pretty cool to see Wee Man come running into the shop at the end of the shift shouting "Mama!". That was my little pick-me-up after a long day; something I wondered how I would manage as I started looking at going back to work. Seeing several friends struggle with the work/life balance in their first year back after maternity leave, I was concerned about my ability to cope with it.
Prior to having kids I always looked forward to going home after a long day, putting up my feet, relaxing with a book or a good show and just having some "me" time. Knowing that parenting is a 24/7 job and that being tired or having a job doesn't matter to a toddler that needs their parent now, I was worried how I would balance the two. After 8-hours on my feet and a busy shift, just seeing his little face and having him jump into my arms seemed to erase the tiredness and rejuvenate me.
Wee Man seems to have completely adjusted to the idea of Mama working from time to time. I'm typically out 2 week nights and 1 8-hour weekend shift, and now when I pull out the mascara or put on my coat Wee Man says "bye Mama" and continues on with whatever he is doing. I'm relieved and know that while I would love to stay home indefinitely with him, that's not the reality in our life, and we'll all be OK with this new role that I've taken.
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