I saw this video (http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/kate-parentingcom/mom-arrested-taking-10-year-old-son-get-tattoo?src=soc&dom=fb) the other day and was baffled....a mom charged with child cruelty for letting her child get a tattoo? My initial thoughts were that we're not getting the full story through this video and article, but it really made me think.
I understand that the mom, who has tattoos herself so obviously isn't opposed to them, thought that the gesture her younger son wanted to make towards the memory of his older brother was a positive one. What better way to remember someone then to make part of their memory something that is always with you? I agree with the mom on that side of things - as she said, it's not like he was asking for Sponge Bob or some other pop-icon that will dwindle away into the memories of childhood as he ages. I also see the other side of the issue - the kid is 10. It was against the law (I do believe her when she said she didn't know that was the case though - and think that the tattoo artist should have some responsibility here; does he/she not know the laws that govern his/her trade? He/She should! That is the person that should have been charged!)
As a parent sometimes we have to make difficult decisions when it comes to our kids. Sometimes we have to say no when they give us every reason (in their minds) why it's unfair to them. This might be one of those times.
In our household tattoos are acceptable. My husband has 5. Four of them he got as a young adult and while don't necessarily represent anything sentimental, they are relatively small, easily concealable when he needs to dress up or go to a job interview, and are not offencive (two are Celtic symbols and the other two are cool designs). The fifth is one I consider very special. When our son was born he decided he wanted to get a tattoo representing wee man. For a week he sat at the kitchen table perfecting his design. It ended up being a lion (both he and wee man are Leos); the mane has wee man's name written at the top hidden in the hair, at the bottom his birth date, on it's forehead the Chinese symbol for Year of the Tiger. It's gorgeous - and holds many special meanings within it. It was well thought out, artistically designed, and something that will never be a regret. This is, in my mind, what a tattoo should be. This is why I don't have one (although I've been mighty tempted to get this same one somewhere on my own body). This is what I would encourage my own son to do should he decide one day he'd like to have one....something that means something deep down - not a passing fancy or something from a wall/book in a tattoo studio. However, I still wouldn't want him to do it until he was at least 18. Just to be sure.
I think it was wrong for the mother in this story to be charged. I can't say whether I think she made a wrong decision - that is really something that is personal to each family and situation. I agree that this is a positive way to celebrate the memory of a loved one. If it had been my own son coming to me at 10, I probably would have encouraged him to wait - think about a design representative of his brother for a couple of years, looked into the laws/rules to find an appropriate age to have him go and get the tattoo (14?, 16? 18?), and determined the best place for him to place it on his body that will not turn people off in the future in terms of jobs and other opportunities that tattoos may not be welcome in. However, having never lost a child myself, perhaps I would be sitting next to my 10-year-old getting matching tattoos remembering a loved one in the midst of my grief. We can't judge. I sure as heck would be proud of him for remembering his brother in a positive way, not going out hurting himself or others in angry retaliation of a young life lost.
What are your thoughts on this story?
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